my day in bed.

so... normally i don't belief in the mystic arts of jinxing (except when you say jinx to someone and they can't talk. that's just fun). however, i do believe that i have jinxed myself this weekend.

proof: i have sadly fallen ill.

how did i jinx myself, you ask? i said that i hardly ever get sick. 

that very night i hear and feel the first evidence: a deep cough (onset by laughing, no less) you know the kind, where you can hear the echo from the esophagus coming up through the throat, gorgeous. 

later that night i get a headache, normally not a big deal: ibuprofen. but i could tell it was a sick headache. it is a very comprehensive headache, not the kind that will be easily and quickly remedied. 

add onto that the feeling of needing to throw up. not the kind of feeling that start from the stomach, although you can hear noises going on down there that shouldn't come from a healthy abdomen. the feeling starts at the top of the throat and you can taste something akin to blood by your back molars. 

this feeling isn't enough to get you to want to get out of your bed and head to the bathroom four feet away. it is dismissed.

also, tears were uncontrollably rolling down my cheeks. i wasn't sad or in pain (sort of). sick tears, irrational and no one know what to do to help you. 

for the first time in my life that i can remember, i couldn't sleep. i tried watching a movie, i tried laying there staring into the abyss of the dark ceiling, lit by the ambience of the street outside, i tried telling myself a story... hours past and i still lay amidst sheets of red that usually encompass me in comfort but this time only taunted the mixture of exhaustion and alertness.

eventually i ended up on facebook around two in the morning, i talked to my mom, she told me to get hot cocoa to help me sleep. nice sentiments, however if i'm not going to get up to throw up... 

two hours later i finally drifted. 

three hours later i woke up because my sweet little roommate forgot to turn her alarm off and not just the snooze. so i got up to turn it off... i couldn't see any colors. it was weird. 

so, i got up a total of three more times the entire day: shower, eat, juice. 

the one thing that made this day bearable was my baby was near me the entire time. thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, cyndi and mamasita.

moral of the story: don't jinx yourself. because karma's a brat. 

my bad

alright, second post in one day. i know it's a miracle that i'm blogging soon at all let alone the same day. i just felt that i have been very cynical and depressing lately so i decided to share something happy that happened to me today when i really needed something happy to happen to me.

it was just a normal day at work. boring, monitone, office-ey... i was walking through the middle of the office for a reason i can't remember when the door opened to a semi-familiar face.* barely an acquaintence... we have a mutual friend in allie. anyway... he opened the door, threw a candybar at me and left.

smiling, i was happy. i looked at the candybar and was a little disappointed because it was a cadbury fruit bar... i don't like cadbury or raisins. but he didn't know that because he doesn't know me that well. so in this case, for sure, the thought really did count.

*there is a fun little anecdotal backstory to why he randomly showed up to give me candy but... i'm going to keep that a secret. ;)

tangent

for some reason, i have been in a not-so-myself mood for a while now.
i don't fully know why.
for all those who have been in contact with me in some form or another, i apologize.
i hate it as much as you that i feel like crying all of the time.

strange things that have happened:
my apartment made some guy that lives across the street really mad because we tried to start a prank war by stealing some pirate stuff from their apartment. some guy got irrationally angry. it was an innocent prank on monday... it's now wednesday and he still can't get over it so there is tension there (he still won't really talk to my one roommate who is his girlfriend...)
hopefully my computer will be back to itself because i sent it to az to my mom and cyndi. they're capable, i just want my baby back.
car flirting: usually very successful (i met my good friend lawrence lee through car flirting) the last couple of attempts with different people, in different cars have led to no response. we have driven up on a couple heavily making out, some dude picking his nose for an extended period of time, a guy we knew was looking at us but when we would look back he wouldn't acknowledge us, etc. still fun.

in other news: i want to be beyonce. can you spell l-e-g-i-t-i-m-a-t-e? ok the first song on my playlist. listen to the beginning when she sings "sound." awesome.
one day, this song will ring true in my life. it will be a while though. i have unnecessary problems with men. either they aren't around right now, around too much, i just want to be friends, he just wants to be friends. etc, etc. well... i guess i should get back to life and everything i should be doing.

hopefully i'll be back to normal today. maybe a letter i'm expecting will help. maybe a hug from someone... i really don't know.

well, have a nice day, everyone.

that is so four years ago

alright, something in popular culture today has made me both very happy and a little frustrated.

now before i go on a rant about this, i have a challenge for you people who read this: you may have noticed that there are two copies of the song "i'm yours" by jason mraz. listen to both.

which is better?

the first one? is this because it is the one that you hear on the radio every thirty minutes and still love even though this is the 17th time you've hear it today?

**WRONG ANSWER**

the second one is better. no opinion. fact. there is nothing better than an original. (i will already contradict this myself, some covers are better than originals, but those are exceptions, not rules) even though it is the same artist, it's a re-do. i fell in love with this song my junior year of high school. i made my friends listen to it. none of them appreciated it (except nori, my only ally). now, four years later, everyone knows and loves it.

hence my angst for popular culture. singles. those are the songs that are remembered and appreciated.

you may be thinking, "wistie, there is barely any difference between the two tracks."

*listen, if you are of this opinion, don't * talk to me about things anymore. they are completely different songs. i appreciate both, however, they are completely different.

the first one is producerized and technically tweeked. there are obviously people sitting and making this song with jason, it's not a one-on-one experience with him (there are * back-up singers, for crying out loud**), like the song is implying. the song still makes me happy, though. and there is a line that i absolutely love in it that is not available in the other song: "scooch on over closer, dear, and i will nibble your ear." good stuff, however...

the second is natural.

i can actually mentally place myself on a beach with a barely-functioning radio next to me crackling this tune into my ears, spreading chills over my ocean and sun-soaked body, and sliding my toes into the moistened sand.

or, i can just as easily imagine jason walking on said beach, at sunset of course, singing to me as i just recover from the ocean, and sit on the dividing line of the coming-and-going waves in the sand.

or, i can imagine this being the background song to a lovely scene between me and a significant someone making a connection as the sun shines and descends upon us.

the point is the second one is better. it inspires the message better. it's better performed, it's just... better.

so ask yourself this question: why do i like this song?

(the asterisks are for natascha)

curse words!

certain people have been getting on my case lately. i think i may have even been called a hypocrite or something because i got mad because someone hadn't blogged for a really long time... so, i say whatever to them.

i finally sent brian his ahem christmas/birthday now... easter package. he'll like it, i forgot to put a bunny in it... he likes bunnies, next time he'll get a bunny. in my defence, people were being difficult and not sending me pictures for his scrapbook. (yes, i did indeed make a scrapbook, don't laugh) so step off.

my roommates have given me the nickname "prom queen" (among others). why? well, apparently everyone has fallen in love with me. all i have to say is: ahahahahahahahah!
alright, so i may have accidentally broken someone's heart, not my fault, i didn't know until it was too late. and i can't help it if i'm friendly, all i suggested was a pizza dinner, it sounded innocent enough. that's all i really do, make suggestions. they can't get mad if i get free dinners and movies because of them. plus also, the one kid that i wish would take more of my suggestions to heart may be more difficult than principally thought. oh my curse of unrequited love!

all right, so enough of that tangent.

so, i need to find an awesome place to live next fall... any suggestions? i love the colony, but i like meeting new people and new places. weird, right?

great news! i'm buying a new hard drive for my baby. no more white screen with a gray file and a question mark flashing into my teary eyes. i wish i had a better name for my baby, but no name seems to grasp my feelings better than "my baby." i've tried a couple of models, nope.

i just re-read over the post, it's all pretty allusive. awesome.

speaking of allusive, i have been accused of being such a thing more than usual lately. guess what? i don't care, you (you know who you are) don't call me wistery or wisterious for nothing.

well, hope to hear from anyone who cares to read this. i enjoy cookies, brownies, most anything with or of chocolate.

the end

quotes of the day:

an oldie but a really, really good one: "rudy is... perseverance. rudy is... determination...."

liesel/wistie: "but he loves me!"

liesel/wistie: "fat pigeon"

liesel/wistie: "look! they have an old person"

liesel/wistie: "hobbit day! hobbit day! shelaylay!"

(liesel and i are going to make a shirt with a collage of quotes from our friendship together, so i have been thinking about them lately, trying to remember them, if you happen to know any, please let me know, much appreciated.)