i can see clearly now...

so things are perking up. after being somewhat depressed for unknown reasons, i decided i had had enough. i am going to be happy. i'm looking forward to the future and what it may hold in store for me. i'm 90% sure of where i'm going to live next semester (not my current house, hooray!), i have great friends, i'm making great friends, i have great people around me all the time, etc.
it's all in your attitude, really.
so, i can't wait for christmas because i really want to go home - but i'm halfway through the semester so i think i can make it.
anyway, have a wonderful day.

just go away!

i don't know why. but lately, people have been so annoying to me! i'm usually pretty accepting and tolerable of people. however, lately (as in the last few weeks) a lot of people have increasingly been very annoying. i don't know why, i don't like it, though.

any suggestions on how to get over this? greatly appreciated, thank you.

goodbyes and changes

last night i said goodbye to tylor thatcher: aka allie's "ex" boyfriend. it was fun to go and spend time with him. i hadn't seen him since april. it was weird, i don't know. i guess it was this way when my mesa friends left too, but it's been a while since i went to their goodbye party. anyway, i remember at my brother's farewell parties there was a group of friends that stole all of their attention, i felt jealous. last night, i was part of that group of friends. we stood/sat in a circle and just talked and reminisced and wished him luck.
our circle pushed everyone out.
i felt bad.
his sisters tried to come in and join us but soon left when they didn't receive the attention they were seeking.
this just adds to my wondering at exclusivity that i rambled on about a few posts back.
i guess that's what tylor wanted, he has spent time with his family, we hadn't seen him in months.
i just remember being the little sister that wanted in on the circle and was only received by polite gestures of unwanting.
that got me thinking about my little sister, ciera. i feel bad now because i pushed her aside too many times during my teenage years. she's starting to grow up into her own teenage years without me there. talking with her on the phone is a different experience now then it was a few months ago. it's weird not seeing her mature.
when i go home for christmas it's going to be weird - like going to family reunions and hearing, "oh my! look how you've grown!" and the like. i'm going to have to go through that with my own sister.
that doesn't seem right to me.
we'll see.

i don't really know

fyi: missing something you never had may be harder than missing something you did have.
food for thought, enjoy your day.

can i be done with this now?

so, i'm sitting here in front of a computer in the hbll trying to type out some profound bs to satisfy my english professor. it's sooooo hard! i have the ideas in my head but i can't get them to make sense through my fingers. it will happen though. it will.
it will.

i've decided that i hate writing papers.
i love writing.
i hate papers.

there is no creativity.

papers = someone elses idea + me trying to show that i can understand their point + i agree or disagree as shown / a x b x c

writing = my idea + molding into something fun to read / other people's influence + play
it's kind of like playdough, i like playdough; i hate scale models of someone else's work.

what's the point, really?

i don't know

real quick

so... it's been a little while since i have blogged lately, i've updated my profile and my music, so it is about time i blogged.

not much going in my life: school, work, school, friends, school. the same old, same old.

news on the horizon: i am moving to a new apartment next semester, still working on that though... nothing definate.

i am desperately missing many people in my life. i never knew what it really felt like to miss people until this past summer. it sucks. i understand why they call it "missing" you are missing apart of you because they aren't near.

anyway...

have a wonderful day... if you're not... good news: the office is tonight. as well as a SNL skit three days early! one day, i will write those skits... just you wait

hooray

the end

testing

ok, here's some food for thought. it's a response paper i wrote for my women's studies class. yes, i wrote it at 5:30 in the morning and yes, i did turn it on time for the nine o'clock class.
Stereotypical Individuality
A woman’s individuality in American society is under scrutiny. How is it possible to know whether this individuality is really a woman’s innate personality coming out or whether it is the result of years of stereotypes and expectations forced upon the development of the woman’s character?
Biologically, women differ from men. This fact cannot be escaped; it is natural and necessary for the continuation of the human species. These biological differences may contribute to the stereotypical norms associated with being a woman. Weaker, more fragile, more emotional: to name a few.
The nature vs. nurture theory comes to mind to defend women against these biological differences. How much of the stereotype of being weaker is contributed to the fact that men have stronger upper bodies or to the suggestion that women have to be submissive and helpless?
I see the importance of the biological and learned differences that existed to shape me into the person I am today. I am a woman biologically. I am a woman socially. I am a woman. Although I may seem to conform to many stereotypes that exist in accordance to my sex, I am not defined by them. I can see and accept that many of my traits have probably been formed by learned experiences from my mother, father, teachers, friends, media, etc. I am still me. I am different from the woman next to me in too many ways to count. We are similar, but if the stereotypes that rage our society had been the only influence in our development, there would be no individuality; the woman next to me would only differ in name, perhaps the color of eyes. I appreciate the differences that contributed to my development – otherwise, I wouldn’t exist as I do today.

"i am green with jelous rage" -ben

so... i went to the weezer concert last night. it was awesome. i've never been to a concert before and i was not disappointed. angels and airwaves played with them. i haven't heard many of their songs but i will be getting more... i loved them. liesel loves angels and airwaves so she's pretty jealous that i got to see them in concert.
and then weezer came out... they sure know how to put on a concert, that's for sure.
let me put it this way: they had a trampoline... i mini one - but a trampoline nonetheless.
they had white jumpsuits on at first, and then stripped down to red track suits and at the end the bass player was in some sort of boxing robe.
there were many hats.
i loved it
there was some 15ish year old girl that was hilarious to watch in the crowd. she looked like she was pole dancing the whole time.
i found my male counterpart in the lead singer: Rivers Cuomo. he's really weird and was the one jumping on the trampoline and wearing the hats.
point is: concerts are awesome and i regret the delay in me finding out this information... can i blame my mother for this? other people blame stuff on their mother, i really don't have anything to blame her for... so i'll blame this on her...